Narcissists are complex individuals. If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissistic person, then you know how challenging it can be.
A narcissistic person’s main goal and priority is themselves, and their own happiness and self image, which can make them appear shallow, selfish, and arrogant at times.
Narcissists (see also ‘What Is A Covert Narcissist?‘) will often find it difficult to really love someone else, as they struggle enough to love themselves, and they do not view their partners as an individual, but more of a person to fulfill their needs.
This is why narcissists are often drawn to other narcissists. So, what happens when two narcissists are in a relationship? Let’s find out. But first, let’s take a closer look at what a narcissist really is (see also ‘Different Types Of Narcissists‘).
What Is A Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. This is a mental condition where individuals have an inflated sense of self, where they may have an intense need for admiration or praise.
They may have a superiority complex, where they find themselves more important than others, leading to a lack of empathy for others around them.
When you know what a narcissist is, you may be wondering how they form and maintain relationships. Narcissists are often drawn to those who are not narcissistic, so that they can manipulate them to suit their needs.
Narcissists may choose people to victimize, as they can bend them to their will and gain the attention and admiration that they so desire.
So, what happens when a narcissist is dating another narcissist? Can they form a relationship?
What Happens When Two Narcissists Are In A Relationship?
The typical actions of a narcissist can make it hard for them to form relationships with other people, as they’re very self involved and often disregard other people’s feelings.
So, when you think about two narcissistic people coming together in a relationship, you may think that it’s a recipe for disaster, but this is not always the case.
A narcissist often cannot provide or reciprocate the love and care that emotionally healthy people desire, so it is actually common for two narcissists to come together.
However, they may not necessarily know that they are both narcissists.
Two narcissists together is actually much better than a narcissistic person dating a non narcissistic person, as the narcissist may often drain the other person because of their need for admiration and constant praise- without giving anything back.
This is because narcissists often do not know how to create intimate, loving and lasting relationships.
When two narcissists form a relationship, they can instead feed off one another in order to reach their goals and exaggerate their egos. They have the same common goals, and will not find the other narcissists’s behavior odd or selfish.
However, when two narcissists are in a relationship, they often do not create a deep bond with one another like emotionally healthy people would.
Narcissism is very much on the surface, as a facade, or mask that these people don, so the relationship is often not very deep or intimate.
That being said, similar people with similar interests often attract, and two narcissistic people will have a lot in common such as shallow beliefs and interests.
They may feed off one another, both trying to maintain that facade of the ‘perfect couple’ that they believe everyone is envious of.
They may try to keep up appearances, posting lavish lifestyles and fantasies on social media to maintain their ideal that they are better or more powerful than others.
Two narcissists together may actually enjoy each other’s company, as they will have so much in common, whereas other people may find them shallow and difficult to maintain a friendship or relationship with. So, can two narcissistic people fall in love?
Can Two Narcissists Fall In Love?
We cannot make an assumption that all narcissistic people cannot fall in love, as every person is different.
That being said, for the most part, two narcissistic people within a relationship may not be completely in love.
Two narcissists together tend to use the relationship as a transactional one. They both need the other to fulfill their needs of self inflation and self image.
They may feel infatuated by the other, as both will need to have their confidence boosted, and will need to feel praised constantly for their looks, achievements, and accomplishments. They will drive one another.
The majority of the time, the ‘love’ that they feel is the experience of having their own needs met by the other person. To a narcissist, a partner is an object rather than a person that will be used for their personal gain and benefit.
Two narcissists in a relationship is a power dynamic. They will both try to manipulate the other, and both will not accept that they are being manipulated because they think they are too intelligent or powerful to be manipulated by anyone else.
As long as both parties get what they want out of this transactional style relationship, it could go on for years.
However, narcissistic people struggle to give others praise and attention, as they require it all for themselves, so two narcissists in a relationship may not stay together long.
Narcissists are typically more drawn to those who have low self esteem, or those who are codependent, as they will be easily manipulated and controlled by the narcissist.
Like when narcissists are in relationships with emotionally stable people, if they no longer feel they are getting what they need from the relationship, they will typically discard it.
If you think you may be in a relationship with a narcissist, or if you believe you may have narcissistic personality disorder, then we urge you to speak to a counselor or therapist for help and support.
You will gain the tools to cope with narcissistic behavior, work on your self esteem, and have the opportunity to talk to someone openly without judgment.