Running Out Of Things To Talk About In Therapy

Two people in therapy running out of things to say.

Talk therapy is, unsurprisingly, all about talking, so when there’s nothing much to say, it can feel like a wasted session! However, these moments of silence can actually be a great time to start exploring something new, and to delve deeper into emotions, behaviors, and relationships.

In this guide, we’ll take a look at why it’s normal to run out of things to talk about in therapy, and some conversation ideas for when it all goes quiet. 

Is It Normal To Run Out Of Things To Talk About In Therapy?

It’s very normal to run out of things to talk about in therapy, and all therapists will have had a session that starts with “I don’t really have anything to talk about today.” This isn’t a sign that therapy isn’t working, or that something has gone wrong.

In fact, running out of things to talk about can result in the most expressive and insightful sessions, as you turn away from obvious events to look beneath the surface.

Therapy sessions are scheduled on a recurring basis, often weekly. They don’t just occur “as needed.” Which means, there are going to be some weeks when nothing much has happened. The work in the session won’t stop, but the conversation might need a little more guidance to get to the point. 

When the big events and emotions have been discussed, it can feel as though there’s nothing much left to say. But therapy isn’t just about digesting big events. When the main discussion points have been covered, you can start to focus on the deeper emotions and experiences that run beneath the surface.

Things To Talk About In Therapy When You Have Nothing To Talk About

When there’s nothing urgent to talk about, what can you possibly talk about? 

Look Back At What Therapy Has Achieved So Far

Having been attending therapy regularly, these new silences can seem alarming, and you might be wondering whether therapy is still worth it. This can be a good point to turn the focus to the past, and start exploring what therapy has been able to achieve so far. 

Consider your new strengths, and moments during the week in which you’ve put into practice skills learned in therapy.

By turning the conversation to the achievements already made in therapy, you can start to unearth the issues yet to be covered. As the pressing issues have been explored, it’s easier to see the emotions and incidents running beneath the surface.

Look Forward At What Therapy Can Do In The Future

Running out of things to talk about in therapy doesn’t mean that therapy has run out of benefit. However, it might indicate that it’s time to reset your goals, and adjust how you use the therapy sessions.

Therapy sessions are supposed to grow and change as you grow and change with them. With nothing to say that week, you can look forward to how therapy can be utilized in the future.

Two people in therapy, palms up, running out of things to say.

Discuss The Therapist/Client Relationship

The therapist/client relationship is an important one, but it might not come up often in the course of a regular session. Moments of friction might cause a period of reflection, but when the sessions are going smoothly, the relationship rarely comes under the spotlight.

But with nothing much else to say, it’s a good time to reflect on the bond between therapist and client

Focus On The Broader Context

Silence in a session is often the result of a stable few weeks. Instead of big emotions and events to discuss, you can be left floundering for anything to say. But without the big events, you can start to consider the emotions that compelled you to start therapy in the first place.

For example, if you’re attending therapy for anxiety, most sessions are likely to focus on moments in the week that triggered anxiety, and developing coping methods.

A week with nothing much to say is a good time to reflect on the broader themes. How long has anxiety been having a noticeable impact on your life? Can you remember events that cause anxiety now, but didn’t trigger issues in the past? Without a crisis to draw the focus, it’s time to look beneath the surface.

Why Is There Nothing To Say?

Struggling to maintain a conversation during a therapy session can be the result of many things. It could come from a place of contentment, feelings of rage, anxiety—there’s no single cause behind a moment of quiet. 

Often, a quiet therapy session can be the result of a quiet week. Consider the reasons behind a quiet week. Are you better at dealing with stressful situations now, so events that might have triggered a reaction passed by without problem?

Or have you been putting off certain tasks to avoid triggers, so nothing much has happened?

Look At Patterns

If you’re running out of things to say, then you’ve probably been attending therapy for a little while. So, with weeks, months, or maybe even years spent together, you can reflect on past behavior to recognize patterns in relationships, actions, and emotions.

These patterns can be easy to miss when you’re focusing on a recent crisis. However, when there’s nothing much else to say, you can use this pause to look for repeating events. 

One thing you might discover at this moment of reflection is that you’ve run out of things to talk about before! These quiet periods will then have been followed by more major events.

Take The Time To Be Quiet

Silence isn’t bad, and although many of us find it uncomfortable, it isn’t something we should shy away from. Taking time to be quiet can allow us to reflect on our emotions, allowing new thoughts to come to the surface. 

Final Thoughts

A quiet therapy session can feel like a problem, but it can be a time for important reflection. Use these moments of silence to focus on thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and relationships that can otherwise go forgotten. With no crisis guiding the conversation, you might be surprised at what comes up.

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